Dispute Resolution in Preadolescent Children

This video is truly an inspirational instructional overview for all parents everywhere on how to resolve disputes between siblings.

This video has helped me to resolve even the most complex inter-sibling disputes.

The scene starts with a fairly typical dispute between siblings: a fight for control of the family's zucchini of power. Often this sort of dispute turns into an inter generational feud for power, but not in this family - they have an ingenious yet simple solution, that you won't believe until you see it. Or read about it below, as I'm about to spoil the content of this video and totally undermine the commercial aspirations of the original content creators.

SPOILER ALERT: I'm about to reveal what happens in the video.

No, really, I'm about to totally blow it for you.

This is a telegraph cucumber, which is not entirely dissimilar to the zucchini used in the video. It's not entirely the same either. But it's pretty close, and it's all I had in the fridge that was a similar color and shape, so it'll do, right? It's not like this is the New York Times or anything, it's just some blog.

Instead of letting the dispute fester away to play out as a land war in future generations the fight is brought to a head immediately. The two children and put head to head in a fight to the death. This is so ingenious I can't believe that I've never thought of it myself. There's been many times when I've thought to myself "I wish those kids would just SHUT UP!", and if I'd just implemented this amazingly simple solution not only would the dispute be resolved, but future conflict would be averted as well, as one of the children would be dead.

Having the fight to the death take place in an arid land, using weapons from science fiction stories, adds a fun aspect that really connects to the kids' imaginations. I'm sure they both got a real kick out of it. Up until that one kid died.

A fight to the death is a really great idea as a way to resolve disputes between children. In fact, I think it's probably a really great way to resolve conflict between any two random people.

The victor was initially sad, but once presented with the zucchini of power they are ecstatic. As well they should be. What a win. They certainly deserved it.

I will be using this technique to resolve future conflicts between my children. In fact, I imagine it will really catch on, and before we know it it'll be being used to resolve conflict in workplaces, and even between random strangers all over the world. Imagine if that intense fracas you've been having with that person you've never met on the internet could be put to bed once and for all through guns at dawn. I think we should make that happen.